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ABOUT ME  NAME: Nur Amalina DOB: 18.03.1989 LOCATION: West, Singapore Link Me WISH LIST ~Al-Jannah
TAGBOARD FUN STUFFS Elle Nour For the muslimahs :) Nyra's Boutique For your little girls! House of Abayas Traditional Arabic black dresses Sinful Cravingz Tantalising treats for the sweeth tooth Wire Brooch & Jewelry Awesome beadwork from Indonesia
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Tuesday, March 07, 2006
let's talk abt BGR. i know this is boring but hey, hang on. introduction...BGR stands for boy-girl relationship. lemme ask something. if u have had frenz...close ones...then came ur bf/gf, where does he/she stands amongst ur close frens? equal, slightly lower or slightly higher? well...for me...bgr at this point of time is still early n u can never predict if he/she is gg to be ur future partner in life or not.say if u are stucked in a situation. whereby, u have to either choose ur fren or choose ur bf/gf. what wld u do? choose only one so that u can focus all ur energy, love n attention to him/her...or choose both to not disappoint anyone though it might take a toll on u? or say u had already plan sth with either one of them. then at the last minute, the other one just appear with another idea/stuff to do at the same timing as the one planned. wld u keep to what u have planned, otherwise known as a 'promise' to me, n 'janji=amanah' in islam, or forego it? or does it depend on which party, fren or bf/gf, that's interrupting the plan? well it's hard for me to come up with the best answer. coz i've never been in this kinda situation before. but hey, i've played the 'close fren' part before. n it HURTS. REALLY. i can't blame my fren for her actions coz she has responsibilities. but i feel neglected somehow. i really do. if not i wont be crying now. i wish the world was a better place to live in. but i know it'll never come true. a better or the best place to be in, will be in the afterworld. n hopefully the paradise. i remembered once, when my father said, "...walau mcm mane dekat pun kau dgn kawan2 kau, satu hari bile kau dah kahwin, suami kau lah yg paling dekat. kau tak leh harapkan kawan2 kau lagi sebab diorg pun ade rumahtangga sendiri..." after listening to that, i felt teary. i guess somehow i cld understand n feel what my dad meant. it sounds like, my parents are the most blessed couple. it reminds me of some of his frenz who r bastards. probably missing those days when he was single, roaming the neighbourhood on his big motorcycle. now no more. got wife. got kids. huge responsibilities. so if married couples can handle such responsibilities towards their spouses, kids, in-laws...why can't us...the ones with lighter responsibilities...izit that hard to juggle a fren n a bf/gf?? someone tell me, IS IT THAT HARD?? harder than what our prohet muhammad(pbuh) managed? to be able to lead his wives, kids...had 4 very close-knitted frens, abu bakar, umar, osman n ali...lead in business...lead in wars to uphold islam...lead in spreading islam?? to ANY extent??? all at the same time??? now tell me, how gigantic is that compared to ours??? my key point is, it is NOT HARD to juggle resposibilities. get ur attitude rite. prioritize. equality n fairness. (read in King Arthur's way when giving his speech)I have a dream. And this is my dream. We'll change for the good of mankind. Only then, will the world, be a better place, to live in...wakakaka... ok..that's the end of my topic. now come the sad part. of my life. FINALLY i saw that girl with my bare eyes.(well, a little help frm my cntct lens) at the very first moment i saw her my instincts told me she is THAT girl what made me so sure was previously, i had another instinct that he's gonna be there n how it feels so true was the day b4, hidayah thought i'm gg for his match u know i was so hurt lah pls how cld she think of that man... it was my sch's hockey match btw n the pain was unbearable coz it was related to the topic above yeah so to my horror he WAS there my heart skipped a beat luckily, it was only his side n back view that i saw if i had seen him eye to eye i think i wld be speechless maybe i wld cry on the spot or maybe faint am i exaggerating? i dunno when we walked out of that place saw THAT girl again wearing a black tee with the sign 'coach' on the back running on the track with some guy older while walking that stretch she passed us twice n the instinct grew stronger she is the one, she is the one i was very, very down but i guess i managed to control in front of faz tried to kill time n maybe frustrations by roaming town n return home juz to watch dia n on the way home of course i cldn't control it anymore i started to tear in the train i think this is not 1st time i teared/cried in the train since i know no one will notice i cldnt care less i was thinking... that is the girl who existed in my non-existing world, whom i talked to without knowing who or what she is except her short name and age, whom i braced myself forward for to clear the unexpected dispute well at least it is unexpected to me, whom previously i hid from without knowing for myself what the reason was, whom i made myself appear inferior for juz to save him, who claimed i wasn't at fault but yet tried to reach me on my phone, who claimed i wasn't the cause but yet made me feel guilty, who later assured me she's not angry at me but demanded for my photos to be deleted... i wonder if she still remember how i look or who i am or who was the girl that was staring at her juz now while she ran but today as i stand beyond the railings of the hockey pitch i FINALLY saw her in person the girl who existed in my non-existing world | ||||
