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ABOUT ME  NAME: Nur Amalina DOB: 18.03.1989 LOCATION: West, Singapore Link Me WISH LIST ~Al-Jannah
TAGBOARD FUN STUFFS Elle Nour For the muslimahs :) Nyra's Boutique For your little girls! House of Abayas Traditional Arabic black dresses Sinful Cravingz Tantalising treats for the sweeth tooth Wire Brooch & Jewelry Awesome beadwork from Indonesia
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Saturday, November 22, 2008
In life, there were only two instances where I was totally wretched by words. The first happened when I was 16. "Kau jangan bagi malu aku" said my dad. I cried, right in front of him. When i was 19... "Furthurmore, MALU kn i, as if i tak tau jage u. That is what u mean by care? Where should I put my face when I meet them?" *he said. And my heart locked itself yet again, unknown when it will open up to love. Or will it not...? Because these "U-are-an-embarrassment-to-me" confessions occurred only twice in my lifetime, from the people i love, thus it is difficult to forget them...what more, to forgive... I never hold any grudges towards my dad. I know he was disappointed when he said those words to me. Seeing his bright daughter excelling in her studies since primary school, climbing up the ladder of class and position rankings every year...only to be called to meet the discipline mistress instead of just the form teacher in crescent regarding her deteriorating academic performance... Who knows I will be tested by Allah with such a condition that affected my studies and behavior so drastically, unknown to everyone including me? Those words are meant to be heard to fuel my draining spirits...and the discovery made only two months before o-levels is the cure to my situation, also an evidence of Allah's power and hikmah. Sometimes, Allah test us with something so strange, that we never thought it was possible to happen to us. But it happened, with no reason. Sesungguhnya jika fikiran ini tidak damai, kerana terus-terusan mencari sebab kenapa diuji sebegitu sekali, redha itu tak akan hinggap di hati. Apatah lagi hikmah. Lepaskan lah ia... Seeing how my dad actually cared about me, up till now, when he will stay up in the living room till I come home even as late as 1am...I never really bothered bout those words he ever said to me...his actions speaks louder than words...I love you Abah...Thank you so much for everything. And since *he said that, after all the heartaches he has caused...I really cannot forgive him anymore... Daripada aku dianggap sebagai pembawa malu kepadanya, lebih baik aku tiada langsung dlm hidupnya... Tidak ada sesiapa di atas muka bumi ini yang boleh menghina dan perlakukan aku serendah ini kecuali Allah swt. Lantas, keputusan yang aku ambil, muktamad. Semoga Allah menggantikan kehilanganku saat ini dengan yang lebih baik di masa yang akan datang. Amin. To my readers... "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" -Princess Diaries Till then, Assalamualaikum. This dusty space of mine will be revamped soon, hopefully in time for the new year. Watch this space yar! :]  
Saturday, November 15, 2008
This is all that I have to say... kamu tipu aku lagi mungkin sudah ke-seribu kali tak tahu kapan akan berakhir segala penyiksaan ini kamu tampar aku lagi dengan penyakit lamamu semakin lama aku pun bisa menjadi benar-benar gila aku bukan wonder woman-mu yang bisa terus menahan rasa sakit karna mencintaimu hatiku ini bukanlah hati yang tercipta dari besi dan baja hatiku ini bisa remuk dan hancur kamu paksa aku menerima cintamu lagi dengan segala tingkah lakumu yang membuatku bingung kamu tahan aku dengan logikamu lagi kau pikir aku akan mencair dengan rayuanmu | ||||
